Today 5th January 2020 I become 48 years old and Pluto goes direct in my 8th house partil for the second time. It went in first on 4th March 2019 and retrograde on 17th June 2019. On the 10th of January 2020 Saturn goes in my 8th house partil for the first and only time. In that same day there is an eclipse of the Moon in Cáncer and two days later Saturn and Pluto make a conjunction at the cusp of my 8th house. Saturn will stay there 3 years and Pluto 24 years.
What does all that mean? I have not a clear idea, but I do know, being a psychological astrologer, that this simultaneous events are related to a great deal of deep transformation in my life. I am planning to share here, what I find are and will be the most important events, so that we get an idea of what inner and outer events and transformations these two important planets in this house bring.
To start with in the year before this, in which I could already start feeling its effects, I also had transiting Saturn conjunct my Sun, which made of 2019 a great year of inner growth, deep emotional suffering, deep psychotherapeutical process and great material achievements.
I began last year making a deep research on Poliamorie and agreeing with the style of life. I had a painful love experience that led me to start psychotherapy and doing deep work with my inner child exorcising a great deal of old blocked emotions of rage and deep sadness. As I started to notice the changes in my behaviour I got my freelancer visa to stay in Germany (that meant lots of work and money), and I was contacted again via WhatsApp by a man I still didn’t know, who I had matched the year before in Tinder. We fell madly in love and are now in a monogamous deeply spiritual loving relationship. I don’t surprise myself anymore about these big changes, if there’s something I have learnt last year is that my head may think lots of things and adhere to many philosopies and life styles, but my heart is the one that finally decides what is important for me. And I always allow this to happen.
Now my love is coming to live with me in Berlin, after having thought I would live alone for the rest of my life having a poliamorous style of life. I’m getting ready for lots of changes, transformations and exorcisms which I know will not be always easy to make. But as today in a birthday greeting from one of the masters of the Yoga Vidya Center, Sukadev, told me, explaining the five Bhavas of Bakti:
“Mudhurya Bhava, passionate love: serenity and peacefulness are important. But: being passionate about something, passionately striving for God, practicing intensely, letting your heart touch intensely – that makes life really special. Yes, and if you are passionate about something, you will suffer. But it is worth it. If this passion is directed towards God, it will eventually lead us to God’s realization.”
And I know I am a passionate god loving woman through each and every one of my experiences and behaviours, that’s how I’ve lived all my life and it’s always been more than worth it. So here we go!!!!!! Hope you all like sharing this trip of transformation with me.
And for astrologers, here my chart:
Full moon in Cancer opposite Sun, Mercury, Pluto and Saturn. Lunar eclypse. Saturn enters my 8th house.
I felt very sensitive, insecure, obsessive controlling ideas and fears. Difficult day but clarifying and conscious of my own shadow side. Shared all my feelings open and honestly. I am really glad they’ve been well received.
After days of contact with my fears I have improved my inner dialogue and capacity of self soothing and trust in the unknown. It makes me feel good to structure clearly all my finances.
Today my mum’s cancer exploded all over and my sisters in Buenos Aires took her to hospital where she’s staying with a very bad prognostic. My mum (89 years old and severely emotionally damaged) has chosen not to colaborate with the doctor’s suggestions for the last month and something. Somewhere inside of us, my sisters and I know she doesn’t want to live for a long time. I visited last year in November and did my best to practise unconditional love. It was not easy, it took me some time, but I left quite in peace and in acceptance of what was possible to do in that moment. We could enjoy some nice time together. And two days we had a video call in which we had some of our crazy laughs at her singular way of relating to her illness and the world around her.
Blessings for my mum so that she spends a peaceful night in the hospital. Also blessings for my sisters that are accompanying her while I am on the other side of the world. May they have a peaceful night. Blessings for my father, who died in May 2017, may he be in peace whichever dimention he inhabits.
I love you.
My mum passed away last night, at Buenos Aires midnight.
I know she is better.